Bipolar Recovery Year in Review
I at least started the process of repairing the damage I had done previously. For the record., on contrast to what one idiot claimed (as a means to dismiss me of course), I NEVER blamed the bipolar for my behavior; I take responsibility for all of it. But this individual is either ignorant, illiterate or just an outright liar (more accurately, he’s just another weak-minded idiot in a field full of them). I couldn’t patch it up with everyone and I accept that. I’m not big on forgiveness or second chances and don’t expect everyone to be ok with how I acted or my apology. So it goes.
Bipolar Recovery Update 7
I know I have mentioned in previous updates that my bipolar swings seem to be very seasonal with my hypomanic upswing happening in the spring and my typical depression being when fall starts and the weather changes again. Which means that the rest of the year it’s pretty boring and stable. And this summer certainly was. Honestly, it just sort of moved along as I was grinding along on editing and re-editing and re-editing the women’s book.
Bipolar Recovery Update 6
So it’s been a little while since I’ve done one of these and, since I can’t really come up with anything else to write about at the moment, it seemed like a good time to do another bipolar update. The last one of these was done quite some time back so it’s really overdue. I figure at this point most people have read earlier parts of this, if not you can find them all here. But I’m not going to recap everything over and over again even if it pads out the word count.
Bipolar Recovery Update 5
But since it’s been a few months, I figured it was about time to go ahead and do another bipolar recovery update, for reasons that I’ll actually elucidate below. The short version for anybody who doesn’t want to read is that things are going well. I’m mostly stable although I find stimulants will tend to push me towards aggression ville, sleep is good, I’m halfway into my normal trouble spot and everything seems on track, etc. So far so good. Now, some details.
Bipolar Recovery Update 4
I knew that Austin held some baggage from me, bad habits established in my late 20’s and early 30’s (during a depression) originally and then further cemented when I moved back in 2010. Mind you, I was in a very different situation now due to the aftermath of the previous year and that would help me avoid some of my bad habits. Even if I wanted to engage in some previous habits, I was no longer in the financial boat to do so.
Bipolar Recovery Update 3
I had been instructed to take Depakote at bedtime to help with my sleep. And it had the entirely opposite effect. I went from broken sleep to wide awake, no way in hell are you sleeping non-sleep. I tried it the second night, same effect and I called the nurse practitioner (NP). She said to take it earlier. So I moved it back in the day and back in the day and finally to morning. My sleep still sucked and I was getting horrible headaches and what I can only describe as pressure behind my eyes. Especially when looking at a TV and worse yet when the background was white or bright.
Bipolar Recovery Update 2
Some of this is that I am very much a creature of habit and being out of my normal environment, eating habits, life habits, stresses me out. The dogs were also an issue. My mom’s neighborhood was not great for walks and she doesn’t have a back yard. Norman is used to peeing fairly often and usually I just let him out back.
Bipolar Recovery Update 1
And it all came crashing down in about the third week of November. I went from hypomania to crushing depression basically overnight. Apparently there is some theory that the hypomanic brain sort of crashes out, whatever is going on just runs the well dry and then you crash. So while the ramp up to hypomania is often fairly gradual (making it difficult to see it), the crash into depression usually isn’t for me. One day you’re flying, the next day you can’t get out of bed.